Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
