Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
