Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
