my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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