the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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