I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
