I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
