What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
