What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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