i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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