Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
