I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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