he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ugly people sure do ruin things
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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