i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
