I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
