My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
