dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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