dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
