Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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