he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize