spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
