is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
