We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
