YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize