Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
