i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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