my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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