I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize