is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
