ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize