Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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