His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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