she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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