PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
