I don't think brook has ever known best
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Let the clothes fall where they may.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
