Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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