I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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