My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
