She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Pants are for mortals
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
