i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
