Whod you bang
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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