So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
