does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
