the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
