he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
