honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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