it's like iHOP with fire
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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