Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
