one two three fourrrrnication!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
