if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize