Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
