You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize