Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
