I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
