just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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