Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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