im six kinds of drunk right now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
