He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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