I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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