More tranny stories later!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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