I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
