we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
