He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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