she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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