When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
