he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
