I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
