Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
They took my balls.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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