I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
